Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
it was like eating out sand paper
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
