I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Let's paint friendship bongs
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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