is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
