i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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