sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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