he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
