i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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