Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
