I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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