you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
