Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My ass is underappreciated
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
