you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
