those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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