so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
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Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
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Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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