At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
