if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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