it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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