I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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