Pregnant stripper...not hot.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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