did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
