Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
