Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
