I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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