I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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