do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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