OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
