u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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