at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just want to make out with him forever
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize