"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
