Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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