I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
