I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
