I think I died a long time ago.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
