Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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