you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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