I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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