Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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