i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just threw up on my dentist
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
