k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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