honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
