Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize