she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
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