what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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