So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
