Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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