We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
