new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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