Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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