someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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