so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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