I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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