He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
