What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
