I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
