I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
