i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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