i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
