I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
