fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
