I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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