I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
